Gentle Reader, I must ask your forgiveness before advancing this paragraph further. Inigo has been most persistent in the inclusion of some of his musings. I regret to inform you that I have given in and what follows is what is foremost in his little pea sized brain. i instructed Beetle as to what one includes in a journal: delightful or troubling events, funny situations or memories or maybe musings such as mine, I am of a poetical nature.
I limited him, however, to one sentence it follows. It follows.
The mind of Inigo:
" I'm afraid my poop will get stuck to my butt."
Good grief my brother's a maroon. I have no more to share. I've come down with a headache in my eye. I need to take a nap.
Dear Ricky,
Was the Mind of Inigo really the product of said deranged mind? I think not. To judge by your musings I take it Inigo wouldn’t care a wit about such trivial matters, unless it was to actually encourage the adhesion of a smelly mass to his bottom. What better way to maintain his often noxious odor. No, upon further contemplation I feel any normal creature would fear a dirty bottom - it is that very fear that motivates a certain level of hygiene after all. I therefore think that in this case you are projecting your own fears onto the unwitting, albeit smelly, Inigo. Go easy on the little guy. He's probably trying to please you in the only way he knows how... unless of course it involves food. Then you're on your own.
A Restless Reader
Dear Restless Reader,
You sound like a very intelligent person with a keen insight to the inner workings of canines as well as the humans around you. However; there's always a however, I think if you would have had a little brother or sister you might feel differently.
Might I ask you for to put your human self into my little schnoodle body and walk in my paws for one day and experience what I experience to feel what I feel, to hear what I hear. I suspect you would last moments in my body and flee at the first stripping and shredding of your delicate leg hairs.
Imagine having a cute, sweet little sister; it goes without saying your fond of her and there's mutual love for each other, but she is like a pervasive ringing in your ears; unnoticed by those around you, benign health wise, annoying nonetheless.
Imagine then having to share a room with her as she putters about making her noises. She getting into your things; hoarding, losing or breaking them. Blah, blah, blah she persists while you want peace and quiet. Think for one moment what it would be like sitting in a chair minding your own business watching cartoons and she walks up and socks you in the nose. You know you aren't supposed to hit, complaint seems futile, sometimes ruffing her up just enough to scare her straight without it actually being categorised as a beating in your dad's eyes.
Reader can you for a moment understand? Chances are you are the older sibling of a younger brother or sister and if this is so, I think you may feel my pain.
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